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The Official Travel Phrase Book For Discordians

Stupid Language Phrases of Discord

Have you ever been stuck dealing with annoying people in chat rooms or elsewhere who insist on trying to impress you by their knowledge of foreign languages? Ever wish you could just blast them into smithereens like the Charmed Ones do on TV? Well, here is some ammunition. Various stupid phrases in various languages that can be used to disarm the snotty nosed amongst the masses.


Aidez-moi ! Je m'egrappe par un gnome sauvage de jardin!
Help me! I am being stalked by a wild garden gnome

Mon aeroglisseur est plein d'anguilles
My Hovercraft is full of eels

Il y a un poisson dans le bibliotheque
There is a fish in the library

Je suis une vache avec le nez du frommage
I am a cow with a nose made of cheese


Watashi wa kichigai innu desu
I am a crazy dog

Nichi-yobi ni tomodachi to yasai o mimasu
I am going to see a vegetable on Sunday

Sumimasen. Sono bacca wa ikura desu ka.
Excuse me. How much is that idiot?

Kore wa watashi no ubi ja arimasen
This is not my toe.

Konna Kudaranai bangumi nai to omou yo
I think this is one of the dumbest shows on TV

Nande baka mitaina merodorama miru n da?
Why do you watch those stupid soap operas?

Chinese - Courtesy of Rev. Darius

woe-duh nyu-shang-dee dah-duh-gwoh nee-duh tian-joo
My Goddess can beat up your God

dway-boo-chee, neen-duh ko yo chu-lie-luh bun-chung-yu
I'm sorry, your mouth is spouting idiocies again

ching-wun, nee yo may-yo grey poupon?
Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?

dway-boo-chee, woe tow-lee duh shung-yin tai dah-luh, woe ting-boo-jian nee-duh hwah
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the voices in my head


Aykaa beyt tadkeetha? Zaadeq lee d-asheeg eeday men perdey devshaanaayey haaleyn!
Where is the loo? I need to wash my hands of this popcorn.

Een, Yuudaayaa naa, ellaa b-haw yawmaa laa hweeth ba-mdeetaa.
Yes I'm Jewish, but I wasn't there that day.

Da'ek teleyfoon methta'naanaak, pquud. Guudaapaw!
Please turn off your mobile phone. It is blasphemous.

Puuee men Preeshey, puuee!
Boo, Pharises! Boo!


Gem ddwl yw criced.
Cricket is a silly game

Peidiwch a phoeni'r merched yn y basbell nesa.
Don't pester the girls in the next tent

Mae'r ego gorfod diwallu
Ego must be satisfied

Chi a pwy fyddin?
You and whose army?

Beth i chi yn edrych a'r?
What are you looking at?


Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

Utinam barbari spatioum proprium tuum invadant!
May barbarians invade your personal space!

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.

Vescere bracis meis.
Eat my shorts.

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

Fac ut vivas.
Get a Life!

Cubiculum acquirete!
Get a room!

Ubi in foramine es, desiste fodere
When in hole, stop digging

Amice, nunc te interficiam
My friend, I am going to slay you now


Ja vozjmu u vas mochu na analiz
I want a specimen of your urine

Ja ne umeju tantsevatj cha-cha-cha.
I can't do the cha-cha.


Geben Sie mich dab Geleeschaumgummiring. Ihre HinterteileSIND im Begriff zu explodieren!
Give me that jelly donut. Your buttocks are about to explode!

Ich mochte einen Liegestuhl mieten
I want to rent a deck chair

Gebrauchen Sie Insektenvertilgungsmittel.
Use insecticide.

Werden Sie zuruck! ihre dentale Tafel wehrt mich ab!
Get Back! Your dental plaque repulses me

Der getrocknet bogger ist unwiderruflich in mein Nasenhaar gesteckt
The over dried booger is irrevocably stuck in my nose hair

Du riecht wie ein tollwutiger Affe auf Kokain
You smell like a rabid monkey on cocaine


Hoe gaat het met je duiven?
How are your pigeons?

Wat jij nodig hebt is voedselvergiftiging
People like you really need food poisoning

Ik geef u een recept voor zetpillen
I'm going to prescribe some suppositories.

Laat je maar onderkijken
Go and get yourself examined


Mil gun feos turrach na latsa
Mine's bigger than yours

Go gcreime na grainneoga cealgrunacha do bhall fearga
May the malevolent hedgehogs gnaw at your manly part.

Spanish - Courtesy of Pope Yoko

Baja la tapa del water
Put the toilet seat down

Para agarrar tu cuio tendria que conseguir una retroescavadora
To grab your ass I'd have to get a caterpillar

El perfume de tus pies me da convulsiones
The perfume of your feet gives me convulsions

Preferiria meter mi pie en la licuadora
I'd rather stick my foot in the blender

Es la hora del aimuerzo. Veta a otro lado
It's lunch time. Go somewhere else.

A cagar a la arena, que no hace ruido!
Shit on the sand, it's silent

Ese bombon tiene gusto a moco de mono
That bonbon tastes like a monkey bogger

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