The Official Travel Phrase Book For Discordians
Stupid Language Phrases of Discord
Have you ever been stuck dealing with annoying people in chat rooms or elsewhere who insist on trying to impress you by their knowledge of foreign languages? Ever wish you could just blast them into smithereens like the Charmed Ones do on TV? Well, here is some ammunition. Various stupid phrases in various languages that can be used to disarm the snotty nosed amongst the masses.
French
Aidez-moi ! Je m'egrappe par un gnome sauvage de jardin!
Help me! I am being stalked by a wild garden gnome
Mon aeroglisseur est plein d'anguilles
My Hovercraft is full of eels
Il y a un poisson dans le bibliotheque
There is a fish in the library
Je suis une vache avec le nez du frommage
I am a cow with a nose made of cheese
Japanese
Watashi wa kichigai innu desu
I am a crazy dog
Nichi-yobi ni tomodachi to yasai o mimasu
I am going to see a vegetable on Sunday
Sumimasen. Sono bacca wa ikura desu ka.
Excuse me. How much is that idiot?
Kore wa watashi no ubi ja arimasen
This is not my toe.
Konna Kudaranai bangumi nai to omou yo
I think this is one of the dumbest shows on TV
Nande baka mitaina merodorama miru n da?
Why do you watch those stupid soap operas?
Chinese - Courtesy of Rev. Darius
woe-duh nyu-shang-dee dah-duh-gwoh nee-duh tian-joo
My Goddess can beat up your God
dway-boo-chee, neen-duh ko yo chu-lie-luh bun-chung-yu
I'm sorry, your mouth is spouting idiocies again
ching-wun, nee yo may-yo grey poupon?
Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?
dway-boo-chee, woe tow-lee duh shung-yin tai dah-luh, woe ting-boo-jian nee-duh hwah
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the voices in my head
Aramaic
Aykaa beyt tadkeetha? Zaadeq lee d-asheeg eeday men perdey devshaanaayey haaleyn!
Where is the loo? I need to wash my hands of this popcorn.
Een, Yuudaayaa naa, ellaa b-haw yawmaa laa hweeth ba-mdeetaa.
Yes I'm Jewish, but I wasn't there that day.
Da'ek teleyfoon methta'naanaak, pquud. Guudaapaw!
Please turn off your mobile phone. It is blasphemous.
Puuee men Preeshey, puuee!
Boo, Pharises! Boo!
Welsh
Gem ddwl yw criced.
Cricket is a silly game
Peidiwch a phoeni'r merched yn y basbell nesa.
Don't pester the girls in the next tent
Mae'r ego gorfod diwallu
Ego must be satisfied
Chi a pwy fyddin?
You and whose army?
Beth i chi yn edrych a'r?
What are you looking at?
Latin
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.
Utinam barbari spatioum proprium tuum invadant!
May barbarians invade your personal space!
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.
Vescere bracis meis.
Eat my shorts.
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
Fac ut vivas.
Get a Life!
Cubiculum acquirete!
Get a room!
Ubi in foramine es, desiste fodere
When in hole, stop digging
Amice, nunc te interficiam
My friend, I am going to slay you now
Russian
Ja vozjmu u vas mochu na analiz
I want a specimen of your urine
Ja ne umeju tantsevatj cha-cha-cha.
I can't do the cha-cha.
German
Geben Sie mich dab Geleeschaumgummiring. Ihre HinterteileSIND im Begriff zu explodieren!
Give me that jelly donut. Your buttocks are about to explode!
Ich mochte einen Liegestuhl mieten
I want to rent a deck chair
Gebrauchen Sie Insektenvertilgungsmittel.
Use insecticide.
Werden Sie zuruck! ihre dentale Tafel wehrt mich ab!
Get Back! Your dental plaque repulses me
Der getrocknet bogger ist unwiderruflich in mein Nasenhaar gesteckt
The over dried booger is irrevocably stuck in my nose hair
Du riecht wie ein tollwutiger Affe auf Kokain
You smell like a rabid monkey on cocaine
Dutch
Hoe gaat het met je duiven?
How are your pigeons?
Wat jij nodig hebt is voedselvergiftiging
People like you really need food poisoning
Ik geef u een recept voor zetpillen
I'm going to prescribe some suppositories.
Laat je maar onderkijken
Go and get yourself examined
Irish
Mil gun feos turrach na latsa
Mine's bigger than yours
Go gcreime na grainneoga cealgrunacha do bhall fearga
May the malevolent hedgehogs gnaw at your manly part.
Spanish - Courtesy of Pope Yoko
Baja la tapa del water
Put the toilet seat down
Para agarrar tu cuio tendria que conseguir una retroescavadora
To grab your ass I'd have to get a caterpillar
El perfume de tus pies me da convulsiones
The perfume of your feet gives me convulsions
Preferiria meter mi pie en la licuadora
I'd rather stick my foot in the blender
Es la hora del aimuerzo. Veta a otro lado
It's lunch time. Go somewhere else.
A cagar a la arena, que no hace ruido!
Shit on the sand, it's silent
Ese bombon tiene gusto a moco de mono
That bonbon tastes like a monkey bogger
Now, go play some more on the website.
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