In the beginning, there was chaos. Many religions and belief systems begin with that phrase or concept. Oftentimes, that is the last mention of "chaos" that you see in those systems.

But if chaos was the original state of the universe, and "order" was something that was imposed upon chaos, then wouldn't chaos be a natural force in itself? Perhaps a natural force embodied by a Goddess to be worshipped like the sun, the earth, or the underworld?

Chaos, and Discord, as a personified natural force, is the basis of the Discordian religion. Discordians are often mislabeled as a "parody of religion" but that is only partially true. Many Discordians believe in the divinity of the forces of chaos and discord, and Eris, Greek Goddess of Chaos and Discord. Most also believe in the existence of other Gods and Goddesses, since the universe is so messed up, that it must be run by committee.

In Ancient Greek myth, Eris, Goddess of Discord, was not invited to a wedding banquet that Zeus was throwing for Peleus and Thetis. I suppose he had to throw a pretty big party for them, since Zeus' wife, Hera arranged the marriage afte r Cheiron the Centaur told Peleus how to sneak up and rape Thetis. If that isn't a validation of how Chaos and Discord worked in Ancient Greece, what was? How bout this? Zeus himself had attempted to seduce Thetis (apparently, her being a sea-nymph made her very cute and hardly smelling of sea water at all), but dropped her like a hot potato after he learned that any son she bore would become greater than his father. Zeus was a rather vain god, so he decided he couldn't handle this father/unborn son rivalry thing, so he bowed out and left her to Peleus. Despite the obvious embracing of the concepts held dear to Eris, she was thought of as a trouble maker, and thus not invited to the Holy Union.

Eris was enraged by the Holy Snub. So she decided that if they were to prejudge her as a trouble makers, then she would do her best to bring their preconceived notions to fruition. She fashioned a beautiful apple made of pure gold, and on it she wrote "Kallisti" which meant "For the prettiest one." She rolled the apple into the wedding banquet, and hid behind a pillar to watch the fun.

Unlike the original myth, in which only the Goddesses fight for the apple, in actuality, many Gods ALSO fought, thinking themselves prettier than the women. (Could this have been the pre-cursor to the Fab 5?) The remaining non-contestants were pressured by all present to make a choice as to who indeed was the prettiest so that someone would be able to keep the Golden Apple. Wisely, the remaining Gods and Goddesses knew this for the political hot potato that it was, and did what today's politicians often do - they passed they buck. They descended upon a poor shepherd named Paris, and gave HIM the no-win decision making power.

Paris attempted to be an impartial judge, and began planning wet toga contests, mud and jello wrestling contests, and a chili cook off, but the three sneakiest Goddesses, Hera, Athena and Aphrodite snuck off separately, and each, in turn, attempted to bribe Paris to choose them as prettiest. Since the pretty Gods didn't also take this route, they were dropped from the competition. One the three that were left, hera offered great wealth. Athena offered heroic war victories. Aphrodite offered the most beautiful woman in the world. (Not the most beautiful Goddess, mind you, because Paris hadn't chosen who that was yet.) Paris promptly dropped his water nymph girlfriend, Oenone, and accepted Aphrodite's offer of infidelity. Note the irony here. Because they didn't invite chaos and discord into their banquet, they spread chaos and discord all over the ancient world.

But wait, there's more Chaos where that came from. The most beautiful woman in the world was Helen of Troy. And thus began the Trojan War. Meantime, back in the happy marriage of Peleus and Thetis, they had a son named Achilles, the cross dressing guy with the heel problem, who was eventually killed by Paris who was fighting everyone who was trying to take Helen back. Told you it was a no-win scenario.

ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!